My internship is slowly winding down. I've got a week left to go. It's been an all around awesome experience that has taught me a lot and given me a bigger view about the internet, working abroad, and marketing in general. I'm now deciding between finding out more and more about the inner workings of websites and also website design. I know that I am going to need to be more proficient in design tools to make myself a better and more interesting candidate after next year. I also know that I want to work in the states for a bit after graduation.
Working in my second language has been a stressful and rewarding experience. For 6 months I have constantly doubted myself and even though I know I am doing a good job (and have been told I am doing a good job), I come home feeling on edge and slightly desperate about my situation. I just don't like feeling like I can't do something and sometimes the French part of my job was making things just out of my reach. This has also made my French get a lot better, but it has been painful along the way.
It has also been a way for me to understand that I really like being good at what I do. I like owning my projects and taking the lead on them. I want to be brilliant at what I do, and I think for that reason I am going to work in my maternal language for awhile.
I remember when I was in classes in the fall and I was constantly all like "when I'm on coop I'm gonna have so much free time", but here on my last week I can promise you that I have not had that much free time. Or maybe I have had that time, but I haven't used it to my advantage, but seriously with the dollar falling short to the euro and my energy being vampired by French; I really don't know how I could have done better.
And yet, and yet, I feel like there is still so much to be done, and somehow wrapped up in all of it that I have failed to get my share of it all. That I failed to get really into the mess and beating heart of Paris.
Maybe deep down in all of this I feel like I was supposed to like Paris more than I do, that I feel like my failure is in liking Lyon and Reims better than the capital of France. I used to think that I liked living in big cities, but now I see that I like the smaller neighborhood feel of Boston and Lyon. The green spaces, the easy navigation, and the comfort of not feeling lost in the mess.
All in all I must say that I have had a wonderful time living in the Penthouse. We have made a great run, cooked a lot of delicious things and had a ton of good laughs. I wouldn't give up our lazy days at home for anything.
But I'm ready for Reims :-).
ps. This was all brought on by me wanting to go to this restaurant and it being closed for summer vacation. It made me realize ... there is a time limit to things.